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stay tuned.... fall '09

Bart Rage I

Some things are just too good to not discuss. Yesterday evening on my commute I had front row tickets such a thing. The following is my best recount of a BART-rage incident between a young lady and what appeared to be a corporate executive (but who knows, he could have been a well dressed file clerk):

It all started with a baby...

A young woman enters the Bart train pushing a stroller with a young child. Before I could offer (I promise I tried to...), the gentleman across from me was up and offering his seat. Young lady accepts, takes her seat, positions the stroller and begins entertaining her child (In the middle of an attempt to kiss her child, the mother is met with an open handed SMACK! In the face by the little girl, I wish I had audio for this...). Bart ride continues...

Rockridge stop. This is always a heavily exitted stop and one of the newly vacant seats is the seat next to mother and 'talk-to-the-hand' child. The first taker was a gleeful young woman who, although her personal space had been compromised by an abnormally placed stroller, seemed to be excited to be sitting next to the child. She acknowledged this with a pleasant smile and toddler sized wave to the little slapping baby. Bart ride continues...

At the next stop (all of the seats are taken now) a large group of gentlemen enter the now crowded traincar and one of them takes a leaning stance against the side rail at the doorway of train, which is doubling as the side of the young lady's seat. So here we are, the big fella's butt and the young lady's head attempt to occupy the same space... Result: Bart Rage

The once cheerful, young, baby-loving lady is now transformed into what reminded me of a pissed off anime character. You know, the one with the short, wild hair that hangs over her eyes and her eyes turn white when shes mad and her nostrils flare up usually resulting in a beat down for some unlucky other anime character? Yea, that's what this chick turned into, and the booty-bumper takes the role of 'unlucky other anime character'. She was pissed! So pissed that I was actually strongly considering giving her my seat. But naw... I wanna see how this plays out.

So i'm pretending to read my psychology today magazine (I actually was reading a great article about procrastination, I'll save that for next post though) while keeping a very, very close eye on the developing situation across the way. This girl was up to something, and I couldn't wait to see what it was...

After saying evil, vicious things under her breath, I'm guessing the little devil on her right shoulder said "DO IT NOW!" because she grabbed her bag, cocked back as far as she could, and....

Keep in mind, the whole time this guy is cold chillin'; oblivious to the angry anime girl, the slapping baby, the newly slapped mother, and me, the lucky onlooker. He's listening to his iPod and by the way he's bobbing his head I'm guessing it's hip-hop, probably 90s hip hop. He's a middle-aged man who looks to be some sort of corporate head. He stares off into space as if to '''WHAPP!!!'''.....

"what the *****?!?!" out of nowhere a bulky cloth object slams into the man's back/butt region for some unknown, random reason (as I type this he probably still doesn't know why). He turns, looks at the young lady, shrugs his shoulders, turns around, and plops his butt right back on the rail! Now this young lady has leveled up her pisstivity, she's boiling... Somebody please come to the rescue! So in a mad dash for a solution, I get out of my seat (my stop is next anyway) and the butt-head-bumper takes my seat, relieving little anime of watching the Local BUTT News @ 5. But don't think it was forgive and forget so soon. Now the two are sitting across from each other in true standoff fashion. Sakura-Chan starts muttering disses and challenges while giving Butthead the evil eye of Death. Good thing Captain Oblivious either had no idea what was going on, or did an oscar-worthy job of avoiding it. Otherwise, I may have stuck around a few more stops to see how this one played out...